Ask folks about chili and things get heated quick. Everyone has their opinion about what makes a great chili and everyone thinks their chili is the best in the world. I’m not about to wade into that fray except to say this: Unless you are brain dead, you can make good chili. If you are even halfway paying attention, you can make great chili. And the very best chili is the one you fine tune to fit your taste buds.

Too often people tend to reach for a one size fits all bottle of chili powder as the basis for their chili seasoning. While there’s not anything necessarily wrong with that, I believe that if you use a one size fits all seasoning, that’s the kind of chili you’re going to get. Start from scratch with your spices though, and you can create a signature flavor that’s all your own.

I start my chili seasoning with about a dozen large dried California Chiles. Half go directly into the blender and are ground into a powder. The other half go into a hot cast iron skillet and heated until they are smoking, brittle and just short of scorched (you might want to open a window.)

Once cooled, they go into the blender, too. The scorched peppers have a pungent, smoky flavor with lots of depth. They can be a little overpowering, which is why I mix them with the other dried chiles. You can adjust the ratio to your liking.

Once your chiles are ground into powder, they serve as the foundation for your own custom chili powder. Beyond the basics of the ground chiles, salt, and garlic powder, the sky is the limit.

Here’s my concoction:

Scott’s Chili Seasoning

• 2 Tbsp Ground “Scorched” California Chiles
• 2 Tbsp Ground California Chiles
• 2 tsp Kosher Salt
• 2 tsp Cumin
• 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
• 1 1/2 tsp Cocoa Powder
• 1/2 tsp Instant Espresso Powder
• 2 tsp Sugar
• 1 tsp Smoked Paprika

It will probably come as no surprise to our readers out there, but I like to fire up the old grill from time to time. After all, this site is called Get Your Grill On. One of my pet peeves, though, is flipping through a magazine or tuning into a cooking show and seeing some otherwise well intentioned culinary type using their grill like a swiss army knife. Don’t get me wrong, a charcoal grill (or even gas. There, I’ve said it.) is pretty versatile. But if you want to boil some eggs or steam some asparagus, just use your stove top, we won’t think less of you for it.

Sometimes, though, a grill is just what you need, even if the meal you intend to prepare isn’t a steak or a rack of ribs. There’s a particular stir fry recipe that we’ve really been enjoying recently. The only problem is that our gas range just doesn’t generate the kind of BTU’s you need to heat up a wok. If you’ve ever ventured into the kitchen of your favorite Chinese restaurant, you’ll know that they have a veritable blast furnace that they use to fire their woks. Even if my range could generate that kind of heat, I could spend then next week cleaning up all the grease splatters that resulted.

That’s where the grill comes in. Even your most humble charcoal grill can generate A LOT of heat. I know this for a fact because last time I decided to cook pizzas on the grill not only did I crack my pizza stone, I wound up with crust so black I had a hard time distinguishing it from the charcoal.

I was pretty sure my grill would be a suitable heat source for the wok. My only concern was getting the wok close enough to the coals. Luckily I still had an old, crusty grill top that should have long since been discarded.

A little bit of work with a pair of bolt cutters and I had decent cradle for my wok that nestled it right above a nice pile of hot charcoal.

Unfortunately, we ran out of daylight before we could get any good shots of our stir fry, but here is the recipe. If you like it hot, you’ll love this one…

Hot and Spicy Thai Stir Fry

• 1 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/4 teaspoon white pepper
• 1 teaspoon brown sugar
• 1 1/2 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1 1/2 pounds chuck steak

Combine first four ingredients in a bowl and stir until combined. Slice chuck steak into thin strips, approximately 1/4 inch thick by 2 inches long. Marinate steak into spice mixture.

Sauce

• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
• 2 tablespoons water
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon Asian Chile Sauce

Combine sauce ingredients together and set aside.

• Chop 3 medium cloves of garlic and add 1 teaspoon vegetable oil and set aside.
• Halve one medium red onion and slice thin.
• Slice 3 hot peppers (I use cayenne) and add to onion and set aside.
• Roughly chop about 1-1 1/2 cups thai basil and halve one lime and set aside.

Heat wok over charcoal 5-10 minutes. Add 2 teaspoons of vegetable oil and wait until it is smoking hot. Add 1/2 of the marinated beef and cook until thoroughly browned. Remove and cook remaining beef until thoroughly browned, then remove it from the wok.

Add another 2 teaspoons of oil to wok and cook onions and peppers until soft (3-5 minutes.) Push onions and peppers up onto side of wok and add garlic/oil mixture and cook for 30 seconds. Add sauce and continue to cook for 1 more minute. Add beef back into wok and combine with sauce. Add basil and cook for another minute. Squeeze the juice of one lime and mix thoroughly. Serve with steamed rice.

Before I get too carried away telling you about this smoky, crispy hunk of pork, a little explanation is probably in order. I call this Cuban “Style” Pork and not Cuban Pork because I don’t want anyone out there calling me out on grounds of authenticity. I’ve never been to Cuba, I don’t know anyone from Cuba, and I don’t think there are even any Cuban restaurants in my neck of the woods. Heck, one of the ingredients is really more of a Mexican product, so I know this dish is never going to win any awards for being authentic.

I call it Cuban “Style” Pork because it is the end result of my gazing into the freezer and wondering what I was going to do with half of a Boston Butt that I found in there. I had a taste for something that brought to mind a little Latin flavor and was reminded of a little Cuban joint in, of all places, Knoxville, Tennessee. The wife and I used to eat there whenever we were in town and one of the items on their brief (but delicious) menu was sliced pork. Rather than attempt to recreate their recipe, I chose to use it for inspiration instead, and the finished product was a big hit.

Instead of seasoning the pork with a dry rub, I went with a thick, flavorful marinade of garlic, red onion, and a few well chosen herbs and spices. As good as the marinade was, though, it was the “Special Sauce” that really took it to the next level. In our household, any sauce (BBQ sauce, spaghetti sauce, chocolate sauce, etc.) that rises above the ordinary is deemed “Special Sauce” and carefully notated in a small black book for the betterment of all humanity. Those rarified concoctions that elevate themselves to the highest levels of yumminess are designated “Secret Sauces.” Secret sauces are never written down, only committed to memory and prepared late at night with the shades drawn and the lights off, hidden from the unwashed masses.

This sauce is will remain pretty thin, but be sure to simmer it over low heat for about an hour to develop it’s flavor. Leave the fresh cayenne peppers as long as you think necessary. About fifteen minutes will make your lips tingle pleasantly, a full hour is even better if you like the hot stuff.

Cuban Style Pork and Special Sauce

• 1 1/2 to 2 pound Boston Pork Butt
• 10 cloves garlic (six sliced in half for the pork and four for the marinade)
• 1/2 red onion
• 2 tbsp fresh oregano
• juice of one lemon
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1 tbsp cumin
• salt and pepper to taste

Halve six cloves of garlic. Make 6 deep slits into each side of pork butt and push 1/2 clove of garlic into each. Put remaining ingredients into food processor and blend until fully combined. Refrigerate pork butt and marinade in a large ziplok bag overnight. Smoke on grill or smoker for about 2 hours until internal temperature reaches 160 degrees.

Special Sauce

• 1 1/2 cup Non-alcoholic Sangria Soft Drink
• 1/2 cup red wine vinegar
• 2 fresh cayenne peppers, halved
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tbsp tomato catsup
• 1 tbsp cumin
• 1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
• 1 1/2 tbsp brown sugar

Combine all ingredients in sauce pan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for one hour.

This is one of my favorite dishes, and one that (for me) has a long and convoluted history. For a city of almost half a million people (the greater metro area, at least) we’re not exactly overrun with Vietnamese restaurants. By not exactly overrun, I mean there aren’t any. And by aren’t any, I mean that I don’t know of any that are still around.

About seven or eight years ago, there was a really good Vietnamese restaurant here in town. With its gaudy wallpaper and its bad music, (think Celine Dion by way of Ho Chi Minh City) it was never going to win any awards for ambiance, but the food was great, and the proprietors were friendly and attentive. It immediately became a favorite spot, and the Pork Vermicelli was my go-to dish. A combination of smoky grilled pork and rice noodles, it seemed simplistic on the surface. But digging a little deeper, the fresh mint, bean sprouts, and cucumbers gave it a clean complexity.

For nearly a year, I ate there as often as I could. Then things started to get…well, different. One week the Pork Vermicelli was # 39 on the menu. The next week it was #45 and the friendly Vietnamese couple that ran the place was gone, replaced by Koreans. Not that there’s anything wrong with Koreans, but the food was never the same. Also, they could never stick to a name. Sometimes it was Hong Tran, sometimes it was Saigon Noodle, sometimes it was Saigon Noodle and Deli.

The place eventually closed. Eventually, though, a new Vietnamese restaurant opened up a few blocks from home. I suspect that it was somehow associated with the restaurant I remembered, the food was very similar, but I never confirmed my suspicions. After a year or two, though, it closed too. A month later, it reopened as an all you can eat southern buffet. They didn’t even bother to change the name (Watermill,) they just added a banner underneath (Country Buffet. All you can eat. $5.99 With Ice Tea.)

I always wondered if my pork noodles were still on the menu, sandwiched between the macaroni and cheese and the collard greens, but I never had the heart to actually go in and see. Within another couple months, they were closed for good. I still have the noodles from time to time, though, I just have to make them myself.

This dish is not overly complicated, but like many Asian recipes, there is a good bit of prep involved. It’s not really even a recipe, it’s more like a salad, and you can feel free to alter the proportions and ingredients to suit yourself.

I usually begin with the dressing. Add about a tablespoon of Chili Garlic Sauce to 1/2 cup of rice wine vinegar. Mix it well and let it sit while you make your other preparations.

For the pork, I often use a cheaper cut (in this case, tidbits that I salvaged from a couple of neck-bones.) It doesn’t take much and I find that a little fat is a good thing. I sometimes use leftover pork if I have any.

I like to cook the pork in a skillet on the grill. While this may be overkill for such a small amount of meat, I think the smokiness is worth it. A dash or two of soy sauce and a little olive oil goes on the pork before it hits the pan, which has been sitting on the grill long enough to get VERY HOT. A couple of minutes is all it takes to fully cook.

I usually let the pork cool a bit while I finish the rest of my ingredients. Again, you can adjust the ingredients and proportions to your liking. You can make this as individual servings, or in a large family size bowl to share, just adjust your amounts as needed. My Noodle Bowl goes something like this:

The Illusive Pork Noodle Bowl

Place a layer of red leaf lettuce in the bottom of a large bowl.

Add a layer of cooked rice vermicelli noodles (more on this later.)

Add the cooked pork along with fresh bean sprouts, thinly sliced cucumber, and fresh mint leaves. Top with shredded red onion and crushed peanuts.

Pour on as much of the rice vinegar/chili sauce dressing (remember, it’s hot!) as you think is safe and serve with Hoisin Sauce. If you need any extra heat, add some Sriracha Chili Sauce. Sriracha may be the holy grail of hot stuff.

I don’t bother to toss the ingredients together or anything. It generally gets mixed up pretty well when I go at it with the chop sticks.

One last word on the rice vermicelli; The Rhee Brothers were apparently so confident in my culinary skills, that they didn’t even bother including cooking instructions on my package of noodles. Thanks, Guys! Unlike lots of noodles, you don’t have to boil these. Just put them in very hot water and let them steep for about 10-15 minutes. When they are done, drain the noodles and rinse them thoroughly as they tend to be pretty starchy.

The Illusive Noodle Bowl makes for a great lunch or dinner on those hot summer days when you don’t want to heat up the kitchen. Just be careful with those hot sauces.

For those of you who enjoyed the grilled shrimp and roasted oysters that I posted last week, here is some more shellfish action for you. This dish was actually one of those “Plan B” meals that sometimes happen when things don’t go quite the way you plan.

My original intent was to cook the roasted oysters featured here at Get Your Grill On about a week ago. Since there aren’t any good seafood shops nearby, my first order of business was track down the oysters.

I did my homework and verified that I could actually get oysters, and was a little surprised when I found them at my local grocery store. When I grabbed my sack of oysters from the seafood cooler, I made the mistake of looking at the tag and saw that they had been harvested almost a month earlier. Now, I’ve always been kind of cavalier about “sell by” dates. Just last week, I put about fifteen pounds of close dated meat in the freezer. I just can’t turn down a deal. But I guess month old oysters is where I draw the line.

“No problem” I say. “We’ll just truck on over to the Fresh But Pricey Mart, they will surely have oysters.” Guess what? No oysters. I finally decide to go with a bag of Little Neck Clams, despite having never actually cooked clams before. I figured I could use the ingredients I already had and see how it turned out.

Fire Roasted Clams

Preheat a heavy cast iron skillet on a HOT grill.

While your pan is heating, run back to the kitchen and brown one or two slices of bacon in a sauce pan. When the bacon is crispy, remove it from the pan and saute a couple of chopped shallots and a couple of cloves of garlic (also chopped) in the bacon drippings.

Add a tablespoon of butter (I was afraid the bacon drippings wouldn’t have quite enough artery clogging power) and about 1/2 cup of white wine and continue to heat just until the butter is melted (we’ll cook it down later.) Crumble the bacon and add back to the saute pan.

Once your skillet is hot (and I mean HOT) add a couple dozen Little Neck clams and put the grill’s lid back on. Keep a close check and remove them (skillet and all) once all the clams are open (mine took about eight minutes.)

Add your buttery winey bacony concoction to the clams. The skillet should be hot enough to cook the sauce down, but you can help it along on the stove top if you need a little extra heat.

Serve with crusty French bread.

I think it is prudent to offer a warning about the nature of cast iron skillets that have been sitting on a hot grill for any length of time. Yes, we all know that they get hot, but I am going to emphasize it again. They get REALLY HOT. Fabric “hot handles” like this one are great for removing hot pans from the oven, but are not nearly enough if your grill is more than about six steps from the kitchen. I realized this exactly halfway between the front yard and the kitchen. Let’s say that the second half of that trip was a little less graceful than the first.

It may come as something of a surprise to many of the readers of Get Your Grill On, but some people do not grill year round. In fact, lots of folks view grilling and barbecuing as a warm weather sports. For me, the sign that spring is here is when I smell charcoal smoke and realize that it’s not coming from my grill. It’s about that time that I start to crave those warm weather flavors that evoke the beach.

Shrimp and oysters fit the bill perfectly. They make a great pair and they both love the grill. Shrimp is a natural choice for warm weather entertaining. It cooks quick and, with a simple marinade, it takes on whatever flavor you are in the mood for. Oysters may not be an obvious choice for the grill, but they are great. Even my wife, no great fan of oysters, loves their smoky flavor. Best of all, you can do all the prep work ahead of time, so when your guests arrive, all you have to do is toss everything on the grill.

Get the recipes after the break….

Chili Lime Shrimp

• 4 Tablespoons of Olive Oil
• Juice of One Lime
• 1/2 Teaspoon Salt
• Black Pepper to taste
• 1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cayenne Pepper
• 1/2 Teaspoon Paprika

Combine the above ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Add one dozen large shrimp (peeled and de-veined) and coat thoroughly. Put shrimp on wooden skewers (soak the skewers in water beforehand to prevent burning) and cook until done. On a hot grill about a minute per side is usually enough.

Roasted Oysters

On the stove top, saute a couple of finely chopped shallots and three cloves of minced garlic in a two tablespoons of butter. Cook until soft.

Shuck a dozen large oysters and place in a cast iron skillet or other grill-safe vessel. A layer of crumpled aluminum foil in the bottom of your skillet will keep the oysters from rattling around.

Cook on a HOT grill until done. Your cooking time will vary depending on how heavy your skillet is. In my cast iron skillet it took about 7-10 minutes. In a light weight, disposable aluminum roasting pan, maybe 5-6 minutes.

When your oysters come off the grill, top each with a little of the sauteed shallot and garlic butter. Squeeze some fresh lemon juice over the top and salt and pepper to taste. Serve hot.

A few words of caution may be in order. On the difficulty scale, both of these recipes get around a 1.25 out of 5. If you can read simple directions and are comfortable around hot grills, you will be fine. Just be careful when shucking the oysters. The natural inclination is to hold the oyster in one hand and go at it with an oyster knife held in the other. This is a good way to jab said oyster knife into the meaty part of your hand. Having done this once, I can’t recommend this technique.

Instead, place a folded towel on a cutting board and place the oyster on it, hinge side up. This way, you can support the oyster without too much risk of gouging your hand. Insert the tip of the knife into the hinge. Push the knife inward into the hinge and twist. The oyster should open right up.

Like grilling, fishing is not one of the most convenient or efficient ways to get a meal on the table. It can be one of the most satisfying, though. Unfortunately, I am not nearly as accomplished with a fly rod as I am with a bag of Kingsford and a hot grill. A typical fishing trip for me generally ends with me crashing from the woods, briar scraped, mosquito bitten, and muttering something about wolves. And to make matters worse, with an empty creel.

Fortunately for me, my local organic grocery has turned out to be an excellent source of fresh fish, in this case rainbow trout. While a delicate piece of fish can be a little daunting on the grill, it need not be. A few rules of thumb are all you need to turn out tasty grilled fish every time.

Most importantly, start with a clean grill. I used to be one of those “why clean it, it will burn off next time” kind of guys. Well, when it comes to fish, it means the difference between pulling off a whole fillet or leaving half your fish behind, stuck to your filthy grill grate. Clean your grill with a stiff wire brush and give it a quick swab of cooking oil just before you put your fish on.

Cooking time is the next key to great fish. I use “The Beard Rule.” Legendary food writer James Beard cited it in “Beard on Food” and credited it to Evelyn Spencer and the University of Washington. For a medium hot grill, just figure on 10 minutes of cooking time for each inch of thickness of your fish. This holds true whether you are dealing with fillets, thick salmon steaks, or whole fish. Have a 1 inch thick fish? Cook it a total of 10 minutes, 5 minutes per side. I like to use a thin, wide spatula to flip my fish. I stick to the 10 minute rule and flip it only once.

When it comes to seasoning, I like to keep it simple. In this case, I mixed a little fresh basil and oregano into some softened butter and spread a little inside each boneless, butterflied trout along with a few lemon slices and a sprinkle of salt. The herbed butter is a nice accent that comes through without overpowering the flavor of the fish.

If only catching the fish were so easy…

]]> http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/02/06/something-fishy/feed/ http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/01/31/best-pizza-recipe-ever/ http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/01/31/best-pizza-recipe-ever/#comments Wed, 31 Jan 2007 08:00:33 +0000 Scott Phillips Recipes Pizza http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/01/31/best-pizza-recipe-ever/

Not to take anything away from Todd and Michael’s pizzas, here’s another pizza post. 

Henceforth, I think all my entries here may be entitled “Best ______ Recipe EVER!!!”  Whether my recipe for hummus is in fact “The Best Ever” is debatable, it certainly gets more hits than anything else here.  What’s more, almost everyone who winds up here in their search for a hummus recipe Googles “Best Hummus Recipe Ever.”  And they read it on the Internet, so it must be true, right?

Last weekend the wife and I, along with number one son, put these pies together to munch on and bask in the warm glow of the television.   Counterclockwise from the left we have:

• Olive oil, roasted garlic, cherry tomatoes, leftover chicken, and feta. (Me)

• Red sauce, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, black olives, and mozzarella. (Number One Son)

• Red sauce, mushrooms, black olives, pepperoni, and mozerella.

• Red sauce, mushrooms, and fresh mozzarella slices. (The Wife)

They were all tasty, but the chicken on mine didn’t really add anything to the equation.  Aside from the crust and the roasted garlic, all the ingredients were either canned or otherwise ready to use.  The sauce was from a jar (gasp!)

For all their, cheesy goodness, I still have two significant pizza problems.  For starters, I am completely unable to make a round, uniform crust.  My crusts taste great, but they usually look like some sort of amoeba or something.  Secondly, as much as I like to use a pizza stone, (I love a thick, crunchy crust) I cannot use a peel to save my life.  I can get the pie onto the stone, but about half of my toppings bounce off the back of the oven and slide down to the bottom, only to leave burnt cinders that I somehow never get around to cleaning.

Anyway, here is my recipe for pizza crust.  This recipe will make two large crusts or in our case, four personal size pizzas (maybe 10″ in diameter.)

Best Pizza Crust Ever

Combine one 1/4 ounce package of yeast, 1/2 teaspoon of brown sugar, and 1 1/2 cup of warm (100 degree) water in a large bowl and let sit for 10 minutes.

Stir in 1 teaspoon salt and 2 tablespoons of olive oil.

Gradually mix in about 2 1/2 cups of bread flour (I use a stand mixer and a dough hook) until you have a well defined ball that is no longer sticky.  Continue to knead in the mixer for 5 minutes.

Place dough in a well oiled bowl and cover with a clean cloth.  Allow to rise in a warm area for about one hour.  After an hour, punch down the dough and roll into a tight ball, using more flour as needed.  Divide in half for two large pizzas or into fourths for personal size pies.

Roll or toss your dough to your liking (I like mine kind of thick.)  Add sauce and your favorite toppings and bake in a 425 degree oven for 10 to 15 minutes depending on the size of your pizza.

]]> http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/01/31/best-pizza-recipe-ever/feed/ http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/01/18/smoked-ham-hocks/ http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/01/18/smoked-ham-hocks/#comments Thu, 18 Jan 2007 08:00:14 +0000 Scott Phillips BBQ Backyard Cooking Charcoal Recipes Meat http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/01/18/smoked-ham-hocks/

Down in New Orleans that have this wonderful thing called Lagniappe. Lagniappe is “a little something extra” thrown in to sweeten a potential deal or to let a customer know they are appreciated. We all like extras when we can get them, so I’m going to share an easy way to get tons of extra flavor with practically no effort.

Next time you plan to smoke a nice pork shoulder or rack of ribs, go ahead and grab some ham hocks while you are at the grocery. The hocks will probably even claim to be smoked, but don’t you believe it. The last ham hocks I bought said “smoked” on the label, but you wouldn’t have know from smelling or looking at them.

You may be tempted to season you ham hocks, but remember, we’re going for easy here. Just put them on the grill or in your smoker along with your ribs or shoulder and let them go for a couple of hours. As long as you keep it low and slow, you can pretty much leave them alone. When you’re done, your hocks will look a lot more appetizing and there will be no doubt about their smokiness.

And just what is so great about smoked ham hocks, anyway? They will take just about any Southern style dish, particularly greens or beans, to new heights. I use mine in collard greens, and the smoky goodness that the hocks lend to the pot is out of this world. They freeze really well too, so it’s easy to stockpile enough to last until you are ready to smoke more.

Next time your greens need a “little something extra” you will know just where to get it. It’s as close as your freezer, and you don’t even have to tell anyone how easy it was. You don’t always have to go to the Big Easy to get your lagniappe.

]]> http://getyourgrillon.net/2007/01/18/smoked-ham-hocks/feed/ http://getyourgrillon.net/2006/12/27/a-word-or-two-on-cole-slaw/ http://getyourgrillon.net/2006/12/27/a-word-or-two-on-cole-slaw/#comments Wed, 27 Dec 2006 20:04:46 +0000 Scott Phillips Recipes Vegetable Restaurant http://getyourgrillon.net/2006/12/27/a-word-or-two-on-cole-slaw/ I realize that this forum is dedicated to all things grilled and smoked, but I’ve had cole slaw on my mind of late, and if you’ll indulge me, I need to get this off my chest. I recently had occasion to stop by a local barbeque joint (and I mean joint in the best sense of the word) where I picked up a rib plate for lunch. The ribs were wonderful, the beans were tasty, and the bread was bread. The slaw, however, that was a different story. If there were any other ingredients beyond cabbage and mayonaise, I couldn’t find them. It was one big, white, gloppy mess. How someone can put so much obvious care into their ‘cue and then serve it with such an atrocity as this slaw is beyond me.

Around these parts slaw is the default side dish/condiment that you can count on encountering in any respectable barbeque joint. Of course, baked beans are found just as often, but the slaw has the advantage of showing up on sandwiches as well as a side dish. I recall a trip to Louisville, Kentucky once when I, in my innocence, thought they had forgotten to put slaw on my pulled pork sandwich. When I went to the counter to explain the obvious error, they looked at me like I had two heads. It seems that Kentuckians just aren’t acquainted with the practice of adorning a sandwich with slaw.

Travel tip: in Louisville, If you want to fit in with the locals, here’s what you do: Pronounce that only the L, the V, and the L of that city’s name (with a U stuck somewhere in the middle,) and don’t show your surprise when your sandwich shows up without the slaw.

So, to all you pig shacks out there (and you know who you are…) who are still serving up that nasty concoction of cabbage and mayonnaise, here is a recipe for coleslaw that your customers might appreciate.

Shred half a head of cabbage and a couple of carrots in a food processor

Mix in a few tablespoons of mayonnaise. Not too much, just enough to nicely coat all the cabbage.

Now, add about 1/4 cup of rice vinegar or apple cider vinegar, a teaspoon of celery seeds, and a tablespoon of sugar. Mix until nicely combined.

You can eat this right away, but it is always better if you let it stew in the refrigerator overnight. There’s no excuse for that gloppy slaw. You don’t have to put it on your sandwich if you don’t want to (I’m talking to you, Louisvillians.)

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